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Nine, easy.

Artie Lange, the comedian that some of you know from Mad TV, fewer know from Howard Stern, and most of you know as that fat guy from somewhere (maybe on television?), was released from the hospital today after being treated for 9 self-inflicted knife wounds. Nine. He stabbed himself, nine times. Reports say 6 of those wounds were “hesitation wounds” while the other three were “deep plunges.” That is three deep plunges to the chest, and six more attempts at deep plunges. This was all apparently a suicide attempt. Wow. A quick read of his wikipedia page gives a few lowlights of this unfortunate fucker’s life (worst among them, the MAD TV “Pig Story”), which make less a mystery of the recent headlines. Still, goddamn. 9 times. Somebody get this dude a rap deal.

Sky's The Limit.

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